Your relationship is what you make it

If you had total control of your relationship what would be happening right now? Now ask yourself, 'Why isn't this happening?'

understand how you feel...

Let down, betrayed, sad...

Was life meant to be this hard... were relationships meant to be this much work?

This has got to be one of the harshest and most sincere statements about life, living and being with someone special:

You will only get out of the relationship what you honestly put into it.

You might want to read that again, slower this time:

You will only get out of the relationship what you honestly put into it.

If you are expecting some type of golden cup because you can deal with the drinking all the time, with your partner spending a lot of their time with friends... if you think that your relationship would be better if only you'd give in more to what they want...

Well, you already know that this just isn't going to happen.

You will get a reward if you can find ways to COMMUNICATE with your partner.

Stop trying to live inside only their world and try harder to bring your worlds together.

A relationship that does not have true, honest and open communication is built on a pile of sand that any simple breeze can destroy.

There is no need for arguments.

There is no need for condescension or begging to talk to them.

There is no need for hurt.

And I want you to find the way out of what you may feel right now... a way to improve rather that accuse.

I want you to love rather that just "live"... you know what I mean.

It may not be much, the relationship you have, but it is worth fighting for.

The love you hold (or held once) can be re-sparked... you just need to give yourself another chance to understand what the basis of your relationship is.

Questions to answer:

How did you first meet?

What "swept you away"?

What was it that made your life feel so great?

What was the turning point that made life feel so dark?

What would it take to make everything better?

Troublesome, probing questions right???

And the worse part is, only you have the answers.

But there is good news... there are guideposts along this rough terrain of relationship alley.

And what I have read I want to share with you. Here.

I have no fear understanding that I am in control of my own actions and reactions that build or break my relationship.

I can accept my own faults, identify them and work to improve myself to make sure that they do not get in the way of the great relationship I want to have with my spouse/partner.

I can identify the faults I see in my spouse/partner and find a good time, and an approachable way, to discuss these things that are hard for me to accept about them.

I agree that I have only the control over my own life that I ALLOW myself to have.

And I will remain true to my own belief system, that I will not lie to myself about my relationship.

That I have the power to make things better and the wisdom to know when to let go of the "dream" to make things better.

And I will listen to the advice of those that have traveled this hard relationship path before me... and I will talk of my experiences when others need help.